True Colors
by JustJanie
Summary: AU Brittana fiction. Brittany is a high school students with family problems. What happens when she falls in love with her principal's best friend? Can Santana really help her to get on her feet again? Or will Brittany's love for the older woman make everything even worse?
1. She is crazy

_Hello guys._

_I have been a huge fun of fanfictions and I decided to try it as well. This is going to be an AU fiction. I hope you are going to be nice because English is not my first language and this is going to be my first fiction ever. _  
_This story is going to be Brittany's POV and most parts are from my real life. First two chapters will be very short but the next ones are going to be longer, I promise._  
_I hope you like it :)_

**September 23, 2011**  
It was a nice autumn day. I had just greeted all my classmates. The happiness was obvious on every inch of our faces and nothing could wash it away. We had just started the third year of high school and we were about to spend some time together. Beach, sun, pubs, parties and lots of fun.  
Our parents had left us be and the excitement took all over us.  
"Are you excited, little bastards?" Sue, our principal, asked us and we did not even have to answer since our feelings were written in our smiles.

I was sitting in the bus next to my best friend Blaine when I heard an unknown voice. I turned around to see where it came from. There was a tiny woman with long hair, chocolate brown eyes and a great, toned body. I have never seen her before but everyone kept yelling "hi" at her with smiley faces.  
"Who is she, Blaine?"  
"That's Santana Lopez. A nurse, a swimming teacher, a gym lecturer and Sue's best friend, all in one person. She is nice, kind of crazy though. You know George from social sciences classes, right? He is her son. She is married to lawyer."  
I checked her once again. To be honest, I didn't like the way she was dressed but I couldn't get my eyes off of her. There was such a sparkle shining in her eyes. Suddenly she was standing right in front of me.  
"Hey Blaine, what's up? Long time, no talk. Show me your passport so I can make sure noone forgot it. And who is this pretty girl sitting next to you? I have never seen her."  
I politely smiled at her: "Hello Mrs. Lopez. My name is Brittany Pierce. Nice to meet you," I wanted to shake her hand.  
She looked me in the eyes, then on my hand and chucled: "Call me Santana and hand me your passport as well."  
I did what I was asked to. She kept looking between me and my passport picture for a few seconds.  
"I am wondering how they could've made this photo only of your head when you have such nice boobs, Britt."  
Somehow I liked the way she shortened my name but at the same time I was surprised about her open mind.  
"She really is crazy. I don't know if I like her," I whispered to Blaine's ear.

After 16 hours on way, tons of food and great laugher we finally arrived to our hotel. I could barely walk but when I saw the sea, all was forgotten. Those 10 days were going to be ours.

Day by day I learnt more about Santana. We kind of became friends even when she was much older. She was really crazy, as Blaine said, but also very funny.  
She looked after us, children, and everytime I was wearing bikini she made teasing comments about how hot my body looked. I promised her to come to her gym after vacation.  
10 days passed by in no time and we had to go back to reality. However, we had many memories to think of.  
I didn't go to Santana's gym though. At least not that year.


	2. I would never let her graduate

The first two chapters were written in the past tense because I threw away my journals. So they were kind like Memories. From now on, I will write it in the present tense.

Have fun.

**September 21, 2012**

We are here again. The weather has become a little colder and nature is slowly getting colors of autumn.  
I look around me at all those excited faces of my classmates. One year passed and so many things have changed.  
I left my parents one week ago and started to live with my best friend and former lover at the same time. I was so sick of my father's attitude, you know. When I didn't do anything the way he liked, he just hit me. Things started to be worse after some time and one day I finally found the courage to gain my pride back and show him I am able to live on my own. I was well award how tough it will get once I come back from the school trip - senior year, living on my own, job, graduation - but I couldn't care a bit at this moment. Everything was better than letting my father to think he has power to do anything he wanted to. Honestly, I can not imagine what he is going to be like when he finds out about me being gay. I know it is going to break my mom's heart. However, I am sure she will get through it. But my father?! He would kill me if he had any clues.

I put out some chocolate muffins I baked last night. We haven't even left yet and we are already feeling sick from all the food we have eaten so far. Such a typical thing for us.  
"Guys, get to the bus please!" I hear Sue calling.  
After we were all seated, I put the headphones on and start my little one week long fairy tale with no worries. Just fun, beach and friends.  
"Santana is here," Blaine tickles my ribs. I look up and see her pretty face again. One years since I saw her for the first time at the exactly same trip.  
"Hey Britt-Britt, hello Blaine! Are you ready to go?"  
"YEAH!" we literally screame at her with huge smiles that could light up the whole world.  
And with that we're leaving our hometown.  
_

The way has been awful. I have already tried everything to get comfortable but nothing works.  
"This sucks and I am feeling sick. I shouldn't have eaten so much," I told Blaine. He obviously has the same problem. However, my sickness suddenly disappear as I can see Santana coming closer to us.  
"Hello once again!"  
I can feel something in my belly, but it is more like butterflies.  
"Hi Santana. How was your summer?"  
"It was kind of hectic. But we will talk when we have time."  
I just smile at her and with that she is leaving again. However, I cannot help but see something weird in her eyes. Like she is only pretending when she smiles. Weird.  
After a few more minutes the bus finally stops and we are allowed to walk a bit.  
"I am so tired. Wanna smoke a cigg? Someone joining me?" I asks my classmates and leave the stupid bus with no space for legs.  
I light up a cigarette immediately.  
"Brittany, Sue is coming, throw it away, pretty face," Santana winks at me.  
I do what I am asked to and smile at our principal. I am a typical nerd at my high school, what would Sue think of me if she saw me smoking?!  
"Thanks, San. You saved my life!"  
"No problem, be careful the next time. And hand me one Marlboro as well or I am not going to survive."  
I smile ate her sweetly and ignore all the butterflies in my stomach that make me kind of sick. But good sick.  
_

After the longest 16 hours long way locked in the bus, we are finally here. Sun is shining, beaches are kind of empty since the official summer is over and the temperature of sea is very comfortable. What else do I need?  
"Guys, wear your swimsuit, we are going to have the time of our lives!" Quinn yells in the hotel room.  
After an hour of unpacking and dressing we are finally lying at beach.  
"Let's get to sea," I say excitedly and run to the amazing blue water. We are fighting and screaming and teasing each other for a few minutes but the happiness is very obvious in our faces. When the sea gets a little cold, I decide to go out. When I turn around all I can see is a beautiful Latina standing near me looking after younger students.  
"Are you wet, Santana?" I ask her innocently because I wanna pour some water on her great toned body.  
The smirk is showing in her eyes and with that she answers: "When I look at you body, I am not sure where do you mean."  
At that moment I realize what I said so I am standing here speechless. Santana just chuckles and let me be.  
After we get to our rooms in the evening, we start to get ready for dinner. Something in my mind makes me wanna look very pretty so I pick a black short dress with heels and curl my hair. Even after one day my body is starting to be tanned and it looks extremely good.  
When I get down to the restaurant, I can feel many eyes on me but I am looking for certain ones. My wish comes true in a few seconds when Santana looks up and stops to move for a moment.  
"Who are you, pretty girl?" she smirks at me and I am smiling like a moron.  
"I know I am pretty but thanks."  
"Wow, wow. Someone is so sure about theirselves," she chuckles and I can see the sparkle in her eyes light up for a short second before it quickly dies again. It makes me sad somehow but I do not really care because dinner is served.  
During our meal we exchange a few smiles but that's it. After brilliant dinner we go back to our rooms where we end an amazing day with a few bottles of wine.


	3. Are you wet?

The first two chapters were written in the past tense because I threw away my journals. So they were kind like Memories. From now on, I will write it in the present tense.

Have fun.

**September 21, 2012**

We are here again. The weather has become a little colder and nature is slowly getting colors of autumn.  
I look around me at all those excited faces of my classmates. One year passed and so many things have changed.  
I left my parents one week ago and started to live with my best friend and former lover at the same time. I was so sick of my father's attitude, you know. When I didn't do anything the way he liked, he just hit me. Things started to be worse after some time and one day I finally found the courage to gain my pride back and show him I am able to live on my own. I was well award how tough it will get once I come back from the school trip - senior year, living on my own, job, graduation - but I couldn't care a bit at this moment. Everything was better than letting my father to think he has power to do anything he wanted to. Honestly, I can not imagine what he is going to be like when he finds out about me being gay. I know it is going to break my mom's heart. However, I am sure she will get through it. But my father?! He would kill me if he had any clues.

I put out some chocolate muffins I baked last night. We haven't even left yet and we are already feeling sick from all the food we have eaten so far. Such a typical thing for us.  
"Guys, get to the bus please!" I hear Sue calling.  
After we were all seated, I put the headphones on and start my little one week long fairy tale with no worries. Just fun, beach and friends.  
"Santana is here," Blaine tickles my ribs. I look up and see her pretty face again. One years since I saw her for the first time at the exactly same trip.  
"Hey Britt-Britt, hello Blaine! Are you ready to go?"  
"YEAH!" we literally screame at her with huge smiles that could light up the whole world.  
And with that we're leaving our hometown.  
_

The way has been awful. I have already tried everything to get comfortable but nothing works.  
"This sucks and I am feeling sick. I shouldn't have eaten so much," I told Blaine. He obviously has the same problem. However, my sickness suddenly disappear as I can see Santana coming closer to us.  
"Hello once again!"  
I can feel something in my belly, but it is more like butterflies.  
"Hi Santana. How was your summer?"  
"It was kind of hectic. But we will talk when we have time."  
I just smile at her and with that she is leaving again. However, I cannot help but see something weird in her eyes. Like she is only pretending when she smiles. Weird.  
After a few more minutes the bus finally stops and we are allowed to walk a bit.  
"I am so tired. Wanna smoke a cigg? Someone joining me?" I asks my classmates and leave the stupid bus with no space for legs.  
I light up a cigarette immediately.  
"Brittany, Sue is coming, throw it away, pretty face," Santana winks at me.  
I do what I am asked to and smile at our principal. I am a typical nerd at my high school, what would Sue think of me if she saw me smoking?!  
"Thanks, San. You saved my life!"  
"No problem, be careful the next time. And hand me one Marlboro as well or I am not going to survive."  
I smile ate her sweetly and ignore all the butterflies in my stomach that make me kind of sick. But good sick.  
_

After the longest 16 hours long way locked in the bus, we are finally here. Sun is shining, beaches are kind of empty since the official summer is over and the temperature of sea is very comfortable. What else do I need?  
"Guys, wear your swimsuit, we are going to have the time of our lives!" Quinn yells in the hotel room.  
After an hour of unpacking and dressing we are finally lying at beach.  
"Let's get to sea," I say excitedly and run to the amazing blue water. We are fighting and screaming and teasing each other for a few minutes but the happiness is very obvious in our faces. When the sea gets a little cold, I decide to go out. When I turn around all I can see is a beautiful Latina standing near me looking after younger students.  
"Are you wet, Santana?" I ask her innocently because I wanna pour some water on her great toned body.  
The smirk is showing in her eyes and with that she answers: "When I look at you body, I am not sure where do you mean."  
At that moment I realize what I said so I am standing here speechless. Santana just chuckles and let me be.  
After we get to our rooms in the evening, we start to get ready for dinner. Something in my mind makes me wanna look very pretty so I pick a black short dress with heels and curl my hair. Even after one day my body is starting to be tanned and it looks extremely good.  
When I get down to the restaurant, I can feel many eyes on me but I am looking for certain ones. My wish comes true in a few seconds when Santana looks up and stops to move for a moment.  
"Who are you, pretty girl?" she smirks at me and I am smiling like a moron.  
"I know I am pretty but thanks."  
"Wow, wow. Someone is so sure about theirselves," she chuckles and I can see the sparkle in her eyes light up for a short second before it quickly dies again. It makes me sad somehow but I do not really care because dinner is served.  
During our meal we exchange a few smiles but that's it. After brilliant dinner we go back to our rooms where we end an amazing day with a few bottles of wine.


	4. What a pity you want nothing

When you have fun, life passes by so quickly. The same happens with our trip. We still have three more days to enjoy without worries about real life though.  
I woke up a few minutes ago because I need to get ready for Santana's aerobic workout. I used to do aerobic and more other kinds of dance since the age of 3 until 14. The best years of my life.  
When I am finally done at 6.50 am I go downstairs and wait for my favorite Latina. She is here nearly 10 minutes after me. Right at the time.  
"Hey Britt," she greets me groggily with her sunglasses still on. It looks kind of weird because the sun is not really shining so early in the morning.  
"Hello. What's wrong?" I come closer to her and put her sunglasses off. There are huge circles under her eyes, "oh my god. You look like shit. What happened?"  
She smiles at me, "what a nice way to wish me good morning, Missy."  
"Sorry but it is true. Did you know that night is right time to sleep? What did you do?"  
"We drank a bit.. More than a bit if I am being honest. That reminds me - can you please find something to drink for me? Except alcohol."  
I go to kitchen and ask for a glass of water. I run to hand it to her as soon as possible. She drinks the whole glass in one breathe.  
"Thanks, that was needed. Would you really really mind if I canceled aerobic this morning?"  
"No, sure I wouldn't. Just go to bed and rest, you need it."  
"I am sorry, I will make it up to you, I promise," she comes dangerously close to me and in no time she pecks my lips with hers. I am not sure what to do. So I am just standing here, not being able to move with this sweet taste of her on my lips. What the fuck did just happen? I watch her leave and my own legs get heavier and heavier. She turns around and wave at me before she disappear in the building. After a minute of standing still I get myself to move.  
You totally made it up already, I think to myself. Suddenly I can feel a source of new energy flowing through me. I feel like I can do anything. I light up a cigarette the moment I enter my room. I am sitting at balcony, listening to music and just smiling. Life is great. Not great, brilliant.  
When it is time for breakfast, I change into a good looking summer dress and flip-flops. I put my hair into a messy ponytail and meet my classmates. Santana is sitting near me in the restaurant and we exchange small smiles and looks all the time.  
"What are we going to do today?" Rachel asks us excitedly while eating.  
"I would borrow a boat, whatcha think, guys," Finn suggests.  
Of course we are all in.  
_

A few hours after breakfast we are lying on the beach, sunbathing and eating the most delicious ice cream. Somehow I ended up having Santana's favorite flavor - extra black chocolate ice cream. And no wonder she loves it so much, it is delicious. And the color totally matches her eyes. Wait, am I seriously thinking about the color of her eyes?  
I watch her move on the beach. She is pretty.  
"Yeah, she is," Rachel answers.  
"Wait, did I tell it aloud?"  
She smirks and turns around to get her back tanned.  
Santana finally lyes down as well and in a few seconds, her bra is off. I start to cough. OMG, IS THIS REAL LIFE?  
Her boobs are so full and I immediately start to think about how I wanna touch them. Great, now I will never finish the book I am supposed to read for my literature class, with an image like that. Suddenly I realize I have not really thought about Emma, my literature teacher. I have had a crush on her for 2 years. She is a pretty redhead with cute eyes. And she is so smart. We kind of became friends. However, we keep it professional when it comes to school. I decide to text her about how awesome our trip is and everybody says hi. With a smile on my face, I go back to secretly stalking Santana.  
_

"Is not it the right time to rent boats as we talked about it in the morning?" I ask my classmates after lunch.  
"Probably. Lets ask Sue and we can go."  
Sue doesn't complain at all. We just need to have an adult with us if there were some problems.  
"Can Santana go, Ms. Sylvester?" I ask innocently. And Sue only nods, "you wanna go with us, right San?"  
"Of course," she smiles and shows me her flawless white pearls.  
One boat is for 5 people so we need 2. I make sure to be at the same one as Santana. When we are far enough not to be spotted, I start to smoke and hand Santana one as well. She accepts it with a smile, "aren't you a little spoiled girl? Student with no money and they smoke super expensive Marlboro. What is wrong with kids nowdays?"  
I chuckle and don't comment it.  
She eyes me and I can see seriousness in her face.  
"What happened to you?" she touches my bruise on my leg. I get goosebumps and I am not entirely sure if it is from her touch or the image of my father.  
"It is nothing. I fell down," I fake a smile with faith she trusted it.  
"If you say so. How did you spend your summer by the way?"  
I start to talk about all the experiences and trips I enjoyed with my friends. In one sentence I mention my sexual orientation without even realizing. She just stares at me wordlessly.  
"What's wrong?"  
"You are gay?"  
"Oh yeah, I am 100% lesbian, any problems with it?"  
"No, not a problem. I have met so many cool gays in Australia this summer. I loved how everyone just let them be and took them as they were. I realized I wouldn't probably mind to have a girlfriend as well" she smiles nostalgic.  
"Wow, you were in Australia? How cool is that!" I pretend I didn't hear the last sentence.  
"Yep, I helped to open a new fitness centrum there. It was a great experience. And it also helped me to get myself together after my divorce."  
"What? You got divorced?" This woman never fails to surprise me.  
I listen to her story about shitty marriage and I feel sorry for her. I would always do everything to keep her happy. Wait, why am I thinking like that?

After one hour, many cigarettes and great talk, we have to head back. No working out and dancing for some time makes me be out of breathe after a few minutes.  
"You should come to my gym as I already told you many times. You are such a pretty girl but this body needs some workout to look even hotter."  
"I will show up," I promise again and this time I know I'd keep my word.  
We are back on the beach again and head to get tanned some more. Before our ways separate, Santana comes closer to me.  
"You paid for my part, right? So what do you want from me?"  
"Oh, I want nothing, don't worry."  
"What a pity you want absolutely nothing from me," she winks at me and leaves me speechless once again. The problem is that my classmates overheard it and I can see the smirks in all of their faces.  
"Don't you dare to comment it!" I shoot a dangerous look to them.

After dinner some of my classmates leave to go shopping, some of them just head to their rooms to get a little drunk. I am left in the restaurant because I don't feel like doing non of it.  
I can smell Santana's perfume so I look to where it is coming from.  
"Can I sit with you?"  
"Sure, take a seat!"  
There is an awkward silence for a few seconds before she starts to speak.  
"You lied today."  
"When?" I ask her, surprised with her sentence.  
"You fell down? Bruises like those aren't from falling down. I am a nurse, you cannot lie to me. Who did hit you?"  
I stay quiet for a minute or so before I have enough courage to speak, "it was my dad. We had a huge argument. I moved away but it is ok, really. I have been living with my best friend and I already have a job," I try not to cry. She holds my hand and for a moment, I am feeling safe again.  
"It will get better, I promise. Do not ever let anyone to think less of yourself. You are such a beautiful and smart lady. Remember that."  
"It is just... My parents are old and never understand anything, especially my dad," I look down and think of all the things my parents have done to me.  
"And how old are your parents if you don't mind me asking?"  
"They are 38."  
"What the hell! Are you fucking kidding me? They are 38 and they are old? Do you realize I am even older than them?"  
"Are you?" I am surprised. Sure, I knew she was much older than me, but I thought she would be about 32.  
"I AM. I am 42 years old, you little mean lady," she pretends to be mad at me.  
"I didn't know that, you look so young, I thought you were at least 10 years younger."  
"You won't save it, Britt."  
I feel like shit for ruining everything, however, Santana smiles at me, "I was kidding. I don't mind to be a granny. I am sure I can still beat you in many sports in a blink of an eye."  
"You just made yourself a deal," I smile evilly at her.  
"I am in. Good night, Brittany. See you tomorrow," she looks at me the last time that day and kisses my cheek lightly.  
"Night," I reply senseless with a burning spot on my cheek. And with that she leaves.


	5. Don't get stuck

"Is it really over?" Rachel asks with a huge saddness in her voice. Why does everything good always have to be over in so little time?  
"Yeah, it is. However, we will come back next year again, pinky promise?"  
She accepts it and we cross our little fingers together with soft smiles. Who knows what it is going to be like next year. September is going to be a brand new begining for all of us. Our ways of life will separate after 8 years of being together. We are going to miss each other the first few weeks, of course. But when we all find new friends, the feeling will slowly go away and this will only be a sweet memory. I am not sure if I am ready for that with all of shits going on in my life.  
"What's wrong, Britt?" I hear Santana's pretty voice.  
"Oh, I didn't see you coming. It's nothing, I am just thinking about next year, you know. Uni and stuff. I don't even know what I wanna do one day and everything seems to be so close and I want to enjoy it as much as possible. I am not ready to leave, you know. Not only I will miss those dorks," I point to bunch of my classmates that are fighting about the last piece of cake and I chuckle, "but also Emma and Sue. They were such rolemodels to me. I am going to miss to be known at school. I am going to miss all people waving at me in the morning. I mean what if people don't like me st uni."  
"Hey, hey. Just slow down. You are not leaving yet, okay? Make the next months the best of your life so there's nothing left to do when you have to leave. You still have time to figure yourself out. Who says it has to be this year though? Look at yourself, you are pretty, young, smart. You still have enough time to make mistakes. You can study Law if you like to and you can drop it after two months if it is too boring. And you can study Literature because you want to. Everything is up to you. Just don't get stuck, that would be a pity. Life has to go on so do you. However, I am sure you will do just great!"  
"Thank you so much, have anyone told you that you're so amazing?" I eye her longer than needed with a small smile playing on my lips.  
"Some people have but it is always a great compliment to hear it from someone as great as you," she returns the smile back.  
Firstly I do not really know what to do, I wanna hug her so badly. I look up at her and after a few uncomfortable steps towards her, I offer her my arms. She smirks innocently and accepts it. We hug for almost a minute. It just feels like home in her arms. And she smells so fresh and nice. I am sure I'd recognize her perfume anytime and anywhere.  
She lets me go but before it, we look to the eyes and I can see how somehow comfortable and happy her look is.. So is mine.  
At 5 pm we are back in bus heading home. I am so not looking forward to it, especially when I know Santana is not going the whole way with us. I wanted my friends to see her and give her a proper goodbye. Whatever.  
I need to find an excuse to talk to her once more as she comes to the back of bus to check on everyone. I think deeply when suddenly...  
"I am feeling so sick, Santana. Do you have some pills to make me feel better," I pout at her and try to look as sad as possible.  
"Don't you have your own?" Blaine questions me.  
"Shut up!" I whisper and hit his ribs with my elbow and I hope Santana didn't hear any of it.  
"Sure, Brittany. I will come with them, can you wait just a little moment here?"  
"I think I can."  
She literally runs to get me something for my fake sickmess and she looks so adorable when she tries to be protective And carimg. She is back in no time and hands me a small white pill, "this should help your stomach."  
"Thanks, I am sure it will help when it is from you. By the way, when we stop, I will give you the money you borrowed me the other day, I'd totally forget about it!"  
"Well, save them, I won't accept it back," she winks and leaves before I have chance to argue. Those winks, she will be the death of me. However, I am not giving up.  
When they start to play some movies, I can feel the tiredness wash over me. I close my eyes in my seat and fall asleep.  
_

I feel the bus stopping and when people start to be noisy so I open my eyes. The light blinds me and I groan annoyed.  
"You wanna smoke with me?" Quinn eyes me questionably.  
"Yeah, I will be right out. Give me a second."  
I try to open my eyes once again when I spot a certain Latina standing outside and drinking her coffee. I smile without even knowing and go to her direction.  
"Good morning, sleeping beauty. You looked so cute in your sleep when I came to check on you. I'd totally kiss those cheeks and you are all smiley even in your sleep," Santana tickles me suddenly.  
"Don't embarrass me. I look like shit, even feel like one to be honest. How many hours till we are home?"  
"8 more, 4 for me."  
"Oh, I forgot," reality washes me again and I am sure I don't wanna wait another year to see her, "when are you at gym? Tomorrow?"  
"Nope, not tomorrow but on Monday. I think my lecture is full though, I will check it out and text you. Can you give me your number?"  
"Sure, hand me your phone, I already have yours by the way."  
I try to use the opportunity and I hand her the money we talked about in the bus.  
"No way, I think I made it clear, I don't want any money back. Keep it!"  
"No talks, just take it," she turns around so I put them into her pocket on her butt and I make sure to touch it as much as I can. She is surprised with my action so this time it is me who smirks and leaves her.  
_

At 7 am in the morning, bus stops at Santana's leaving point. She comes to say bye to me. I wave at her and I can hear her saying: "Hopefully see you soon, bye Britt-Britt," then she is gone.  
Saddness Hits me in no time. Isn't it weird to miss her already when she only left a minute ago? I definitely need to text her as soon as possible.  
We arrive about 3 and half hour after her. I am not really happy to be at home but my friends make sure that coming back to reality will not be that hard. They prepared me yummy lunch and we just gonna hang out together. However, I cannot wait to lay down to be honest.  
In the evening, I take shower and get ready for bed. I hope school is ok tomorrow and I am also excited to see Emma. I would lie if I told I didn't miss her at all. When I finally close my eyes, I can hear my phone beep. I get up annoyed to check it out. When I spot the name playing on my display, my hands start to sweat a little. Why the hell am I nervous, it is just a text, Brittany, calm down. Just a text.  
"I have one place for tomorrow's workout. Are you in as you promised? Granny Sanny ;)"  
OMG! Am I going to see her tomorrow? .ever.  
"Sure, what time? Will you ever forgive me for calling you old when I didn't even mean it? Haha"  
"I booked it for you, it is on me by the way. Nope, it won't be easy. Looking forward to seeing you. Night night."  
"Night, Santana, sweet dreams. Cant wait. :)"  
With this text and smile forming on my lips I fall asleep in a few seconds. Tomorrow is going to be fine, I can feel it.


	6. Don't show your weakness

I wake up at 6 am after fresh and amazingly long sleep. I start to prepare breakfast for Marley, my best friend I have been living with since my parents kicked me out, and 30 minutes later I wake her up with a light kiss on her cheek.  
"Wake up, beautiful. I made you pancakes, they are in the kitchen. I am leaving in a few mins. Do you need me to do anything?"  
"Good morning. No, thank you. Just take care of you. See you in the evening?!"  
"Actually I will be home a little bit later than usual. I am going to gym in the evening but I should be home by 10pm. I will text you. Bye."  
_

School passes by very qucikly. I have a cup of coffee with Emma after school and we talk about our vacation. I tell her about Santana, however, I obviously keep some details for myself.  
"I know her. We hanged out a few times before," Emma tells me without interest.  
"Do you? Oh my god. How comes you have never mentioned her before?"  
"You didn't ask," she continues.  
"I am seeing her today. I want to try her gym program so lets see if I like it," but I already know I will.  
"So have fun at gym and let me know how it was," Emma smiles at me and I can feel she knows something.  
"I will, bye."  
_

I get home at around 5pm and cook dinner for Marley so she doesn't starve when she gets home from work. I stare at my watch all the time and if I could, I would totally move the time forward.  
When it is finally time to leave, I grab my bag with clothes and head to gym by car.  
It takes about 15 minutes to drive there but I am too excited that every minute feels like an hour. I am met by the pair of the most amazing chocolate eyes when I enter Santana's gym.

"Hey gorgeous so are you ready?" Santana winks at me and I know I'd do anything if it means I would do it by her side.  
"Sure, I am. I hope you won't kill me."  
"How could I? I got you something by the way," she hands me a wrapped present. I open it and there is a pretty pink bottle made for workout.  
"Oh, thanks. This is amazing!" I kiss her cheek to thank her.  
"No problem. Lets go to move our bodies!" And with that I follow her.

In a few minutes I am finally ready. The first moments seem very cool. However, as the hour flies, I find it harder and harder to breathe. How comes Santana looks so sexy during working out covered in sweat without even trying. After nearly 30 minutes I want to die. I am so exhausted, I am out of breathe and I am sure I won't be able to move tomorrow. Keep going, keep going, you can do it, I tell myself. When the endless hour finally comes to the end, I feel so proud of myself.

It is time to strech my body when I start to cough really hardly.  
"What's wrong? Grandma beated a teenager? No way! I am not that old, am I, Britt?!" Santana giggles playfully and I chuckle at her because she is more than right. It gives me courage to go on though.  
"It was a great workout, San," I tell her when I am about to leave, "I have never been sweating more in my life so I am definitely coming back. Thanks. See you!" I wave at her and I am about to leave.  
"Good to hear that! Do you maybe want to have some drinks with me? There is a pub a few minutes from here."  
"Right now? But why not. Can I please take a shower?"  
"Sure, I need one as well. See you outside in 15 minutes, okay?"  
"I will be there," I soflty smile and leave to get myself as pretty as possible.  
_

I am outside right at time.. As always. I must wait for Santana a few minutes so I light a cigarette.  
"Wasn't you breathless like 20 minutes ago? Shouldn't you quit smoking, whatcha think?" I can hear a very well known voice so I look at her and smile. Santana lights one as well.  
"Such a right person to tell me this," I tease her a bit, "lets go?"  
"Sure, some people are already there."  
I start to think what "some people" actually means and I am suddenly nervous.

After two hours of laughing anf talking I find myself ridiculous for being nervous before. All those people are Santana's clients as well and they all like her so much, you can literally see it in the ways they look at her when she talks about something important or even in the ways they watch her move. I find it adorable, she is such a sweetheart.

We are left alone at 11pm and I decide to go home as well so Marley does not worry. I walk Santans to her car and we decide to smoke once more.  
"Britt, can I tell you something?"  
"Feel free," I smile.  
"You are too open-minded and I am so scared you might end up hurt. I was thinking about it alot. You believe in others too much and all people aren't only nice, you know. I don't wanna sound like your mother but I just want you to remain safe."  
I stare at her speechless. I know all of that but listening to her made itmso real. I don't know what to answer though so I just mumble a soft "thanks", kiss her cheek and with that I leave her.

The whole drive home I keep thinking of what she told to me so when I lay down, I type a text addressed to her.  
"San, I have been thinking of what you told me earlier. And even when I never tell this - you are right. You know, I am a very young, naive and stupid kid. I have never really felt like I fit anywhere. Even though I have always had many people around me. I trust everything and everyone. I have never been in love. I sleep with people just because I don't know what I want. Or I do know that but I have alaways been afraid of what people would think of me. Have you seen pics from vacation? You look almost as hot as me. You are such an amazing woman - funny, pretty and smart. You never pretend which should be appreciated. I hope things always are the way you want them to be because you deserve it. See you tomorrow! B." I hit send and put my phone under pillow.

"Good night,Marley," I mumble to asleep friend and close my eyes. I hear my cellphone beep in a few moments.  
"Dear Britt-britt. Thanks for what you just came out with. Things aren't always as we want them to be. I have been living the worst part of my life if I am being honest. Teenage son with its own story but unreal opinion about world. His girlfriend that doesn't know, doesn't want and won't do anything. My life.. Oh.. it would take long and I won't mess your head with more problems. There will always be someone who lets you down and someone who offer you their hand to take. I don't know the meaning of all the actions but I have always tried to live as good as possible. So at the end of the day, I can look proudly to the mirror and not be ashamed of what I did. Keep your feelings safe please, no matter what you feel. Don't show your weakness. You are such a pretty girl with a huge potential just don't show your weakness. As I said earlier, everyone isn't just nice. So keep your open heart in safety. Good night, beautiful."

I read it over and over again as tears start to stream on my face.  
She is amazing.


	7. Someone is falling in love

I wake up with a huge smile on my face like everyday. You know, I finally have a reason to smile again. Life is amazing when you have someone to depend on. I have been going to Santana's gym everyday. Our friendship started to get very deep so we pretty much hang out all the time. My life consists of school, job, texting with Santana, coffees with Santana, gym with Santana, dinners with Santana, drinks with Santana... Oh well, whatever I do, it has something to do with Santana. One of the best thing about it isn't only being close to her but also feeling fit again. I can see such a progress as I workout day by day. And there's not anything better than seeing Santana to be so proud of me.

My phone beeps on the table and I run to check out who it is from..  
"Good morning, Britt. Do you have any plans for next few hours?"  
"Morning, babe. It depends on why you are asking me ;)"  
"What a mystery girl! :P You wanna have lunch in about 2 hours? I will pick you up."  
"I need to think of it." I reply to her and one second I text her again, "I thought hard and I am sure I want to see your pretty face again. Pick me up at 12. ;)"

Another great day ahead. Yay.  
"Marley, get up! It is beautiful Saturday!" I tickle her happily.  
"Where did you get so much energy, tell me," she mumbles half asleep.  
I can feel a huge smile forming on my lips as I think of the source of my happiness.  
"What should I prepare you for breakfast, huh?" I kiss her cheek and jump out of our bed.  
"Paancaaaakeees!"

After yummy breakfast I start to get ready. I wear a black t-shirt with long sleeves, jeans and simple black converse. I leave my hair down and I curly it a little. I put on only my mascara and eyeliners as always. I go to smoke since I still have about 20 minutes till Santana arrives.  
"Wow, wow. Where are you going?"  
"Out," I simply reply to Marley.  
"Something is going out, you have been different lately. You mind telling me about it?"  
"I don't have enough time but I promise we can have a bottle of wine and girly talk when I get home tonight if you are free," I wink at her and silently hope she is ok with what I am going to tell her.

I wait for Santana to arrive outside the building and she is late.. It doesn't even surprise me anymore. When I see her Volkswagen Touareg heading to me, it doesn't even bother me that I had to wait extra 15 minutes for her.  
"Hey, I am sorry I am late but...,"  
"Don't explain anything," I interrupt her, "hello by the way. Slept well?"  
"Not really. Some things going on in my life as always. And I had an awful dream,"  
"Did you? My dream was pretty fine. It was about you!" I wink at her as she starts driving.  
"Well, it had to be cool because I am sure I was super nice to you, wasn't I? Mine was about my ex-husband, such a horror."  
"Oh I can imagine so feel free to dream of me the next time," I smile politely.  
"I will," she smiles back.  
The rest of the drive passes quickly as we chat about mostly everything. It is weird that I feel so natural with her. I keep reminding myself that she is fucking 20 years older than me.

After a 20 minutes drive we stop in front of a nice looking restaurant. I jump out of her car and wait for her to join me.  
"It looks good. How comes we have never been here before?"  
"I always save some of our firsts for later, you know," she smirks and leaves me speechless. How comes I have not got used to her teases yet?!

Lunch is very comfortable. We talk a lot about life and her ex-husband. She explains how unhappy she was with him. It surprises me a little because they had been married for 20 years. However, when I ask her, she simply answers that she has never been in love with him.  
"Britt, can I have a personal question?"  
"Go on and ask me."  
"Are you really sure about you being gay? I mean, you're young, isn't just a phase or something?"  
To be honest, her question makes me mad a little. All the people always ask me the same question. So what I look girly? So what I am young? I was born this way.  
She notices me being quiet for a moment so she goes on: "I hope I didn't touch any sensitive spot by that question."  
"No, yes. I don't know, Santana. I mean people always keep asking me about that. It makes me kind of tired to express myself all the time. Can't I just live my life without answering questions all the time? I love girls. I really really do. I always have. Sure I tried to be with boys before but I didn't feel anything. It was hard for me to accept the fact but I did and I am glad I did. I know it is important to stay true to yourself, you know. So yeah, I am very sure I am a 100% lesbian."  
"I am so proud of you," Santana suddenly hugs me and being in her arms is the best feeling in the world.  
"Thank you, I appreciate your support," I hold her tighter to me and I don't ever wanna let her go.  
_

We leave the restaurant at 6am after good lunch, few cups of coffee and great talk. Santana stops her truck outside my place.  
"Thanks for a good day," I smile to her direction and she smiles back.  
"You are welcome. I thank you for being my company," she gets closer to me so we can hug. Our hug takes a little longer than normal and when I am about to let her go she pecks my lips and smiles at me. I stare at her with weird tickling feeling on my lips. She looks at me casually and says bye. With that I leave her car speechless. Why the hell did she just do that?!

When I arrive to the flat, Marley is already waiting for me with a glass of wine and dinner.  
"Hi, beautiful, did you have fun?"  
"I did!" I scream a little because I need to get all those feelings out, "are you ready for our talk?"  
"I have been waiting forever for you. Of course, I am ready."  
"Then promise me you won't be mad no matter what I tell you," I eye her curiously.  
"Have I ever been mad at you, huh?"

"I support you, you know that right?" Marley hugs me after a 2 hours long conversation full of emotions.  
"Yeah, I know. I just don't know what to do. She is much older but I like her and I have never felt more like home with anyone else. You know, I feel like nothing can never hurt me when I am with her. She is so nice and funny and smart and pretty. How can I not like her? I finally feel like someone fully cares about me and listens to me and doesn't judge my actions."  
"Brittany, I can see someone is falling in love?!" Marley teases me.  
"It is not love.. Or at least not yet."

My phone vibrates in my pocket and Santana's name is playing on the display. I smiles without even knowing when I see it.  
"It is her! I can see your smile!" Marley yells.  
"Stop it! However, you are right."  
"Read it, silly."

"Thanks for a good day once again. See you tomorrow, Britt-Britt." my smile grows even more.  
"You are whipped, aren't you?" Marley teases me.  
I type: "My pleasure. Sleep tight and have some nice dreams." then I hit send and place my phone on the table.  
"Lets take showers and head to bed. I have some homework to do tomorrow so I need to be relaxed," I stand up and leave Marley at the balcony.


	8. Stay with me

A few days ago Santana asked me to attend her marathon at gym. I wasn't really sure I would handle it, however, I gave it a chance. She told me to bring some alcohol and food because there will be a small private party. That's the reason I woke up pretty early even though it is Saturday and I decided to bake some muffins. The whole event is starting in a few hours and I am excited if I am being honest. Santana allowed me and some more people to sleepover at her gym so it is pretty awesome to know I will get to see her for more than 10 hours.

My relationship with her still makes me happy. We slowly moved from hugs to pecking our lips every time we meet and leave. I am not sure if she takes it as I do but I don't really care too much. We still see each other daily. I started to teach her Spanish. It honestly surprised me she doesn't speak Spanish when she is Latina. I am fluent at that language though so it gives me more time in her company. We always only study for about 20 minutes before we end up chatting about our days and life as whole. And her accent, she is too cute for words when she tries to pronounce what I taught her.

When the muffins are done, I am about to pack myself a bag. I would never think I need so many stuff for one simple sleepover. 3 T-shirts for marathon because I will be sweating like a pig, trousers, running shoes, bra for sport, socks, two panties, a dress to look nice afterwards, shoes with heels, hair iron, hair dryer, cosmetic, 2 towels, toothbrush, toothpaste, a sleeping bag, a pillow, energy drinks, a bottle of vodka, mineral water.. And hopefully that's it. I get dressed and I am finally ready to leave.

I arrive there a few minutes earlier so I can slowly get ready. I feel kind of nervous. 3 hours of non stop workout ahead. I hope I don't embarrass myself.  
"Hey, B, you ready?" I hear Santana screaming at me.  
"I hope so. When is your turn?"  
"I am going to be the last one to lead the exercising, get your hot body ready because I won't be nice, I promise."  
I roll my eyes: "I would appreciate if you didn't keep your promises."  
She laughs a little and I swear that's the most perfect sound in the entire universe.

We are starting at 2pm. The first 2 hours are easier than I expected but I don't have my hopes up since I can hear everyone talking about Santana's turn. This woman was seriously born to kill me, wasn't she?  
I can see her coming as our second hour is about to end. She smiles at me widely and I can feel a new source of energy flowing in my veins. I can do this, I can do this. The first 20 minutes are fine. I feel every single drop of sweat running down my back. But I keep going. I have been staring at her the whole time without thinking of anything else so when they announce there are only 10 minutes left, I am kind of surprised. It went better than I expected.

"Great job, babe!" Santana yells at me and I see a huge smile on her face.  
"Thanks! It was so much fun! And you were good as well," I return the smile.  
"Lets take a shower and see you soon!"

When I am finally at shower, I let the hot water flow on my tired body and I try to just relax. I am not sure how much time I have been standing here without moving. I can hear someone joining me in the shower next to me but I don't even move to check who it is.  
"Nice boobs," I suddenly hear Santana.  
"Oh my gosh!" I turn around to face her but a moment later I realize what a mistake I did. There she is in front of me, absolutely naked. I stare at her for a long minute and she is only smiling the whole time.  
"May I join you?"  
"S-s-sure, I am almost done here anyway," I say nervously.  
She is sooo hot. I have never seen anyone so pretty, that's one thing I am sure about.  
I wash my hair as soon as I can and leave the shower to get dressed. Nice, Santana, very nice. I am fucking sexually frustrated thanks to you. I listen to the running water while I am getting ready. After a few minutes Santana is standing in front of me only in a towel. I stare at her non covered wet parts of her body and imagine how soft she would feel on me. Stop it, I shake my head so those images disappear. She innocently smiles and lets me be.

I join the group a few moments later. Everyone is obviously enjoying the whole event. Some people drink champagne, some of them eat all the yummy food everyone brought. I pour myself vodka with red bull and look for a certain Latina in the crowd. She is chatting with some of her clients and I must smile at how polite and cute she looks. I come closer to her when she spots me.  
"You look hot," she eyes my whole body.  
"Someone has to represent hotness, ya know," I chuckle and hold a strand of her still wet hair.  
"I don't care," she half says and half sings. I laugh at her.  
"Are you up for a cigarette?"  
"Yup, lets go outside!"

We have been smoking alone without any conversation. We are just standing side by side, looking at pretty evening autumn sky and we remain quiet. I seriously enjoy these moment as well. I feel so comfortable in her company.  
_

After a bottle of vodka and a box of Marlboro, I am already wasted. I keep dancing everywhere and chatting with everyone. I am standing outside when I feel something wrong in my stomach. I run to the restroom and all the food I have eaten today ends up in the toilet. I puke three more times until there is nothing left to get out. When I leave the restroom, Santana holds me and walks me to sit down.  
"Drink the whole glass of water," she hands me one and I do what I am asked to, "also eat this babe," she gives me some bread.  
I try to pronounce thanks but I am not sure how to do it anymore. I am quiet for some time. I just sit and watch people around me. After a few minutes that feel like hours I try to find Santana. She is not anywhere to be seen so I stand up and ask the closest woman to me. She points in front of her and I hear Santana saying bye to a group of men. I walk to her.  
"Are you leaving?"  
"Yes, I am. The keys are next to fridge so you can lock the gym. Sleep whenever you want to. I will come her tomorrow in the morning to clean it up here. Are you feeling better?"  
"Yeah, I am. Thanks," I answer honestly and stay quiet for a moment. She eyes me curiously so I find all the courage and go on, "I want you to stay, Santana. Please. I barely know these people," I pout and hope it works.  
"Britt, I let people sleep here but I never stay here with them. We will see each other tomorrow, I promise."  
"Please, please, please, please!"  
"No, really no."  
I sigh and hug her tightly. She kisses my forehead, smiles at me and leaves.  
I sit down and I suddenly feel tired and I want to cry. Fucking alcohol. Without thinking I suddenly leave the room and start to run. I am not sure where or why I am running, however, it feels free.

I see Santana in front of me after a few minutes of running and I am no sure how I got here so far. She looks up and when she spots me, she stops and waits for me.  
"What are you doing here, babe? It is cold and you are only wearing a sleeveless dress," she puts off her jumper and covers my arms to warm me.  
"I was afraid of you. You can't walk all alone at night, what if something bad happens to you?"  
"Don't worry, I will be okay. I always walk alone. Just go back, okay?"  
"Let m walk you to your apartment or come back with me," I beg her.  
"I already told you I won't. So go to gym and I will see you in the morning."  
I give up, I just look up to meet her eyes and I slightly nod. Before I let her go, she grabs my hand, hugs me and kisses me quickly on my lips. And without words she leaves me.

I sit down on stairs that lead to some pub and I text her: "Just let me know you arrived safe." then I start to cry. I am not sure how long I have been siting here and crying but when I feel my phone vibrates I don't hesitate to open the text.  
"I am home and I am safe as I told you. You are such a crazy but beautiful girl, Brittany. I love you and good night."  
"Thanks God. Love you too. Night, night." I reply and decide to head back to gym.


	9. My little star

I wake up on the gym floor the next day and I feel like a car ran over me. Why the fuck did I drink too much? My head is aching like hell and I am so thirsty. I look around me and think of yesterday. Everything is black since the minute Santana left me. How did I get here, I keep asking myself. I listen to the silence and deep breathes of other people. To be honest I barely know any of them.

I go to the small reception and look for some aspiring to help my headache. Then I make some coffee and check all the mess accompanying me. It is still pretty early in the morning and Santana won't show up for another few hours so I start to clean everything. It takes me about 3 hours to be done but everything looks so nicely. I go for some breakfast to the nearest shop and decide to wake up the sleeping group.

They eat silently so I ask them how I got here the last night.  
"I found you crying outside and I recognized you so I walked you here," an unknown face of a man smiles at me.  
"Oh, thanks so much!" I smile back politely.  
"No problem, you're Brittany, right? Santana's friend."  
"Yep, that's me. What's your name if I may ask?"  
"I am Will, Will Schuester."  
"Nice to meet you and thanks again. I have no idea where I'd end up if you didn't find me."  
"No problem," my new friend says politely.

We chat for some time before everyone decides to head home after night full of fun, exercise and alcohol. I end up waiting for Santana. When I offered to stay there, I didn't think she would show up 5 hours later. I try to call her but she never picks it up. So I just drink a lot of coffee, read everything that can be found at gym and texting with my friends.

She arrives at 1 pm and I am kind of mad to be honest. She pecks my lips when she sees me so it doesn't last long though.  
"Everything is cleaned, check it if you want and if you need anything else, I am here to help." I say to her.  
"You're amazing. You saved me so much time, babe. Did you sleep well?"  
"Yeah, I did. I had fun yesterday but please forgive me for what I did when I was drunk. I never know how to behave with some alcohol in my veins," I can feel my cheeks to get a slight red color.  
"No problem, really. You were so cute," she smirks.  
I drink another coffee with her and with a long lasting hug, I let her be and head home to get some needed rest.  
_

Marley is already waiting for my arrive with lunch: "Where have you been all this time?"  
"I was at gym, I promised Santana I'd wait for her and it took her longer than I expected."  
"Oh and how was it?"  
I tell her everything I can remember from the last time and I don't even know that a huge smile is playing on my lips the whole time.  
"You're so cute when you have a crush," she sticks her tongue and chuckle.  
"Yeah, it feels awesome," I don't even try to hide anything anymore: "I want to make her pancakes, I gotta go back at 7 to work out, you wanna help me?"  
"Sure, however, lay down for a nap. You still have time."  
_

I wake up at around 5 so I start to prepare little dinner for my pretty Latina. When I am done, I pack a bag and head to gym. I haven't seen Santana for a few hours but I already miss her too much. This is so wrong, I tell to myself.  
The whole workout is awful. All my muscles are sore from last night and I am breathless from the first minute. I manage ti survive somehow but I cannot wait for a shower and my bed.

Santana surprises me in shower again and I could totally get used to seeing her pretty naked body. She smiles at me occasionally and I catch her smirk when she's eyeing me. I chuckle at her and leave the showers without a word. When I am getting dressed, she asks me if I may join her at pub and what else am I supposed to do than answer positively.  
"I made you pancakes, they are in the fridge."  
She licks her lips and it is the hottest thing ever. Her body is covered only in a towel and after she makes sure no one is at reception anymore she heads to eat them. I don't understand how she can still look tiny when she eats so much. I am a little jealous if I am being honest.

We have a few drinks at pub before she drives me home. We talk the whole time and I can feel butterflies in my stomach dancing like crazy. I am falling for this woman so hard. I wish her goodnight with a light kiss and long hug and I immediately miss the contact when we part. I jump out of her vehicle and wave at her one more time. She disappears and I already can't wait to see her again tomorrow. How could I live without her all this time?

I head to the bed right when I arrive home. Marley is already relaxing in our bed, reading a book. She greets me with a smile.  
"I have never been more tired in my life, I swear," I breathe out and jump to the bed. I'm staring at my phone with hope Santana will text me good night. And she does. I literally jump from the joy when her name appears on the display.  
"My little star, the pancakes were delicious, I just finished them. Thank you and good night. xoxo" I smile hugely and instantly fall in love with the nickname she gave me.  
"You're welcome. Have a good evening. xoxo" I type quickly.  
"Have a good one as well. And thanks for dinner once again. Kiss kiss"  
I hug my phone with the opened text message from her. It feels like she is closer to me and I fall asleep to the world where anything is possible.


End file.
